I often had the feeling that a small crack had occurred in most of the aspects that define me. As long periods of introspection couldn’t reveal more than I already knew, I find myself in the position of self-questioning whether my past and current experiences are indeed authentic or they are just cheap fakes. Being aware that I might pass through a world of blindness and confusion, I still find it difficult to reconfigure the initial me and put it against the actual one. Of course, I’m not expecting answers, but a small number, the binary result of the subtraction of the constructed I from the primordial me. I only hope it will be void, as every loss should be counterbalancing a new achievement.
me – I =0.00000000000000000001
Despite the theory, something is missing and it was not replaced or at least compensated. with something else. For a long period, the result of the subtraction is just above zero, with an apparently small decimal, indeed, but still showing a clear loss. I might say that due to the time taken to establish a missing part and its unsuccessful identification, the loss is insignificant. However, I will not do that. I will not accept things not going right and I will not act as if this mising spot was never there: it was there at the begining, it got lost on the way and the fact that I find myself incapable to name it can only sustain my cause. So…who took it?
- Neam de papagali
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